Doomed to Fail

Ep 14 - Part 2: Big Trouble in Little Plymoth - William Bradford & Thomas Morton

Episode Summary

Join us on a fascinating journey back in time as we dive deep into the lives of two intriguing figures - William Bradford and Thomas Morton. πŸ•°οΈ Explore the contrasting perspectives that shaped early American history. πŸ‡ΊπŸ‡Έ From Bradford's leadership in Plymouth Colony to Morton's controversial antics in Merrymount, this episode unveils the untold stories that shaped the foundations of our nation. πŸ“š Tune in now for a captivating blend of history and intrigue! 🎧 #HistoryPodcast #WilliamBradford #ThomasMorton #AmericanHistory #PodcastJourney #UntoldStories 🌐

Episode Notes

Join us on a fascinating journey back in time as we dive deep into the lives of two intriguing figures - William Bradford and Thomas Morton. πŸ•°οΈ Explore the contrasting perspectives that shaped early American history. πŸ‡ΊπŸ‡Έ From Bradford's leadership in Plymouth Colony to Morton's controversial antics in Merrymount, this episode unveils the untold stories that shaped the foundations of our nation. πŸ“š Tune in now for a captivating blend of history and intrigue! 🎧

#HistoryPodcast #WilliamBradford #ThomasMorton #AmericanHistory #PodcastJourney #UntoldStories 🌐

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Episode Transcription

Hi Friends! Our transcripts aren't perfect, but I wanted to make sure you had something - if you'd like an edited transcript, I'd be happy to prioritize one for you - please email doomedtofailpod@gmail.com - Thanks! - Taylor

hi everyone Taylor from doomed to fail

today's re-release is episode 14 part

two we only have like 26 episodes that

we can have re-releases cuz those are

our doubles so we're almost at the end

of this but this re-release is on Thomas

Bradford and William Morton they are two

men in the Plymouth

Puritan beginnings of America people

coming over from Europe times and um

it's a classic tale of Puritans are the

worst and the reason that they moved to

the Americas is because everybody in

England was like you guys are a lot even

for us like this is this is no fun so

cool and um one of them wanted to have a

little more fun than the other and he

got kicked out so I think this is a

short one maybe not my best cuz I don't

remember done about it but I shouldn't

say that I shouldn't tell you that and I

hope you love it and if you wanted to go

back and listen to anything it's all

available everywhere you listen to

podcasts and thank you for your

continued support we really love doing

this and we love that you listen thanks

in a matter of the people of State of

California versus orthal James Simpson

case number ba09 and so my fellow

Americans ask not what your country can

do for you ask what you can do for your

[Music]

country we're talking stereotypes that's

true nothing could Poss I go wrong God

what's happened to

me all right I'm gonna go to mine let's

hear it all right I forgot what you're

drinking already oh like a watery ale

instead of water cool okay

so to transition over to history this

story and next week's story are like an

attempt to somehow talk about America

and like how it got so weird like it's

always been weird but like now things

are really bad like good versus evil

bad so for this one my

cousin oh yeah actually okay this is

like the origins of some of our

stereotypes is actually also what I'm

talk about as well so I'm also put the

word stereotype in my notes too so

talking about stereotypes in a different

way um my cousin Lindsay who's the

smartest of my cousins um suggested this

and also her birthday was yesterday so

happy birthday Lindsay you're the best

and I also wrote this very very late

last night and I wrote in all caps

highlighted warning this story contains

843 tangents so there's a lot of

tangents in here this is kind of a

rolling story it's like Story Time with

Taylor what's happening right now so

come back with me in time to the 1600s

someday I might talk about the Salem

Witch Trials it's not today they

happened like 50 years or so after the

story we're going to talk about today

and I'm going to talk about Thomas

Morton and William Bradford one's fun

and one is not fun and they sort of

represented two different Americas and

Lindsay and my cousin called them that

they remind her of a Harry and a draco

which I think totally makes sense like

one's fun one's not fun what's Draco um

from Harry Potter Draco the bad oh Draco

Maloy got it yeah so I also like to

introduce a new segment to the show it

is called I already have children and I

will have no more here are some names I

forgot to consider when I was having

them and I give them to you you're

welcome excited I

I'll tell you offline why I'm not but go

ahead two two names that I forgot to

name my children um from the Salem Witch

Trials are cotton and increase from the

who are the matters who are part of the

Salem Witch Trials I just like love

those names so much and they're just

like so weird they're both bananas like

cotton is like not a name and increase

is like a verb I just it only works

because of the mats part it's so great

Ma is it Ms yeah

matchs Mathers m a t h e RS yeah yeah

Mathers yeah yeah Mathers

mats so many times it stops making sense

so I have two places to start personal

contacts one Salem which is we'll talk a

little bit about that and then the whole

area of like Massachusetts in this time

like this is like the beginning of of

English people coming over to America so

I'll start with Salem even though it's

not what we're talking about talk about

it a little bit because it's something

that like we learn in America very early

like we we learned the story like really

early in school we love it it's like

super fun we watch the movie or a play

of The Crucible we think about how cool

it is you know I I know like I don't

know being a teenage girl in America I

feel like you think about this all the

time when you're like in that time we

also hear that maybe it's like Urgot the

um fungus that can make you crazy and it

wasn't um some people might think it was

God it wasn't but the feeling that I get

that I empathize with with the Salem wit

trials is the feeling of like being a

teen girl and being like won't something

cool happen ever could something cool

happen could something have happened to

these girls like couldn't something cool

happen um but the answer is no like not

this doesn't happen and I remember like

thinking about the Salem witch trials

and like this period of time a couple

years ago there was a new book written

about it and I was really excited about

it and it came out but it was awful it

was like unreadable it was really bad so

if you do want to read anything about it

read the Shirley Jackson kind of short

essay on it but essentially just to like

put some context around Puritans and the

Salem Witch Trials what happened then is

Puritans are boring they suck life is

hard and they make it a hundred times

harder by being boring and mean so the

girls were told again and again that

they had no purpose they were lonely

they were bored they had no future they

saw women who were widowed begging door

too they saw old women alone and dirty

poor and hungry they didn't want that

they just like wanted something to

happen and if you just pray all day

nothing happens because that's not real

so they felt disappointed and betrayed

by life so they made shut up they wanted

to be touched they wanted to be noticed

they wanted to do something that moved

any needle before they were expected to

be married and have 45 have babies and

die in in child birth like that's what

happened but it's still fun to talk

about it and think about how crazy

everyone got like the crazy Mass

hysteria and so many people died you

don't think Urgot had anything to do

with it no um there would have been

other things that happened as well it

was not like a One symptom thing it's

something like other things would have

happened that did not happen so it was

not that okay it was just girls needing

attention but yeah but it's still fine

like I still love thinking about it I

think it's a great a great story a great

piece of our history um and then

thinking about so there's like that is

in the background like people believe in

witches they believe in all this stuff

Massachusetts and they say this in last

podcast when they talk about the Salem

wit trials but like Massachusetts is

creepy in like the woods and the dark

you know have you been there like in

like like a big Northeastern woods so I

haven't been there but I remember I we

discussed it I forgot which case it was

maybe it was the murof case where I

discussed like the opposite of um

Southern Gothic is American Gothic which

is like the nor norn version of that

which is awesome like I think I I love

that aesthetic me too it's really creepy

it's cool like the um did you see the

witch that movie I did yeah so like

picture like that like I always I love

the part like the very beginning when

they're

leaving the um like the settlement and

the gates are closing and you just see

like everyone's covered in mud and it's

raining and there's like a Native

American who walks by and everyone just

looks miserable so like that's like kind

of happening um I remember time in high

school like I went to Massachusetts with

some friends and we saw the Blair Witch

Project and like lost our minds and then

like we went to our friend's house and

these dudes were like telling a ghost

story about the woods and like I thought

I was going to die like I screamed for

hours it was like super fun and like

that's what like the woods are scary so

went like a scary time it's I wanted to

like wear all black and a witch's hat

but my headphones wouldn't work with

that so I didn't do it but it's witchy

we're witchy in a fun way so I also want

to mention that um every Thanksgiving I

like to yell about how the Puritans left

England because they sucked like we were

told in America in school that they left

for Religious Freedom and at least when

I was little I assumed that that meant

or I was told or I believed that it

meant you could be whatever religion you

want and America was a Melting Pot and

it was awesome I don't feel like that's

what they're doing at all and that's not

what's happening today either we know

it's not true it's just Christians who

want to be the only religion so blah

blah blah so that's the place that we're

in it's dark and creepy you know we're

about to hit the witch trials in a few

in like a few decades so people are like

have they're very very Puritan um at at

the moment here's this relationship it

helps really shape the American story of

like two different Americas so we're in

the early 1600s there's Thomas Morton

he's the fun one he was a lawyer and a

Trader who arrived in 1624 from England

um he settled in an area called called

marry Mount and established a trading

post there he was freethinking he

supported Native American rights um

which put him at odds with some of the

Puritans so he was born in 1579 in

Devonshire England he went to Oxford he

sailed to New Finland in 1612 as to

start a fishing colony and he moved to

Plymouth where he became a fur Trader in

like 1613 so he had his own by you know

the 1620s he has his own little village

like he's not like in charge of but he

lives there called Mary Mount And as fun

there as it can be in this time to live

if that makes sense so dire and grim and

awful yes got it yes in 1625 he wrote a

book called new English Canan that

described his experiences in America and

criticized the Puritans for like being

intolerant because they are um they were

they are so the other person in the

story William Bradford he's not fun he

was the leader of the Plymouth Colony he

was a governor of Plymouth for like 30

years which is like the famous one and

he if you someone might say like oh

that's the you know good American values

but like no he was pretty awful and he's

also this a very much a southern like

there's lots of capes and he's not any

fun I mean you're kind of describing a

pretty cool guy though I mean he's not

fun though I know but I would I would

like to wear a cape and I 100% support

capes you can definitely do that so he

so just some facts some numbers about

William Bradford he was born in 1590 in

austerfield England he became part of

the separatist movement which ties back

to um England being with the church of

England didn't want he thought that was

corrupt which we know it is it was

because it was made for King Henry VII

to be able to divorce and kill his wives

but Bradford this this is cool so he he

he escaped to Holland to escape

religious persecution so this is part of

the American story that we hear where

like the Puritans are being persecuted

in England and they they had to leave so

they went via Holland and he ended up

fly a

flying sailing to America on what's the

most famous ship that sail to America

the Mayflower Santa Maria the Mayflower

okay he he said it again he sailed over

on the Mayflower there was three

right no you're thinking the Nina the

penta and the Santa Maria those are

Christopher

Columbus

so ridiculous um fars you were you were

born in England better so so he came on

the BF which is cool he was the governor

of Plymouth which is like the famous

Colony he had a common course system so

like there was like communal farming and

property ownership which sounds a little

socialist but he you know was um kind of

like a a Stern ruler of of Plymouth so

he and William Brad for didn't get along

from the start and in 1627 he goes over

and arrests Morton and dismantles his

Trading Post cuz he didn't like what he

was doing so they're just like they're

like two like kind of rival towns like

living next to each other so here's the

year where the big fun versus not fun

battle happens between these two so in

1628 there's a Mayday celebration do you

know what Mayday

is that was a Canadian thing is that

when when their prime minister is

born I make that up

do we not celebrate Justin Trudeau's

birthday it totally could I don't

know you don't we don't celebrate the

current president's birthday maybe they

have a prime minister day I I have no

idea Canadians let us know so Mayday is

now a holiday for workers rights but it

it's in pre-christian Europe so a long

time ago it was the beginning of Summer

and fertility a time for feasting and

dancing winter sucks and I feel this

like you just want to be happy and have

it be warm finally so you know have you

ever seen a m pole it's like a tall

wooden pole and you do like a dance

around it like did you ever see um where

would I see this like in what situation

would I be exposed did you see did you

see Midsummer yeah so like they do it in

there I think so it's like a big pole

and you have like ribbons and then you

like do a dance around it and way as you

do the dance the ribbons tie on the pole

it's very pretty okay so it's like a

it's like a spring festival and then of

course like Christians were like make it

about Jesus so it became about like

devotion and prayer there's the May

Queen which is like what Florence

Florence Pew was in

Midsummer and so um I I don't know I

wrot this very late last night but I

wrote have you read any books or seen

Midsummer to anyone so just like that's

what we're looking at hey TL can I

interrupt you for a sec do you think

that maybe it's a good idea if you put

that jug of milk behind you in the

fridge instead of letting it sit outside

by the window it's not milk could you

imagine it's what it's for first of all

it says distilled water it's my mom's

ironing water I see okay just checking

why would I just have a gallon of milk

in here I thought maybe you forgot and

you can't see it but I can so oh my God

what if I was just like drinking a glass

of

milk it's almost as gross as rabbit's

blood it is can I imagine gross okay so

it's 1628 it's May you can assume the

Winter's been awful Morton the fun guy

and his followers celebrate Mayday with

like a huge party there's drinking

dancing merry making this is a quotee

that was on Wikipedia it says they set

up a mapole drinking and dancing about

it many days together inviting the

Indian women for their consorts right

dancing and frisking together like so

many fairies or Furies rather and worse

practices as if they had a new revived

and celebrated the feasts of e Roman

gladus Flora or ye beastly practices of

ye mad oh my God I can't even proun it

bakus like the God you know anyway it

was

Rowdy bakus is that that's the god of

wine of wine okay yeah so it's like wine

a lot of drinking a lot of just like sex

and not Puritan things so it sounds

super fun and I there's always like

something in history that would be fun

to like go back to this feel something

that's like not known as well as like

you know going to like a big battle or

something but I think it'd be super fun

to go back to and be like this party is

super fun it's like you know yeah

Coachella when we're in Palm Springs

it'll be just kind of almost exactly

like that so imagine that with like

Puritan stot them which is ex what's

happening in America right now so yes

and I also like love well I was thinking

about like what if I was there what

would it be like and also wanted to if I

haven't told you before one we did one

Christmas in Colonial Williamsburg and

it was awesome and like I love like

doing aers of history there were a lot

of capes and they have like do

activities and like went to like a ball

and learned this like dance like line

dance or whatever and I was dancing with

someone like some like actor you know

and he was like did you hear that

Washington is going to speak later today

in the town square and I was like that

is so fun [Β __Β ] so fun that is so fun

I you know one thing we never talked

about is when I was a kid I used to love

going to Civil War reenactments those

was my favorite thing because they would

go so in detail like they would have

like the little shitty tents and there'd

be like a pot of stew over fire and it

was just so much yeah it was really good

that's so fun I remember um in Brooklyn

they do like a a reenactment of like a

revolutionary war fight and um I like

met someone that was dressed like

Benjamin Franklin that's a picture in

our slack is me and the Benjamin Frank L

CU I was so excited I was like this is

awesome it's just like weird old man but

I was like this is so fun oh my God that

is Benjamin Franklin

yeah that's awesome yeah it very very

fun so so they're so mad about this over

in in Plymouth that they go over and

they arrest arrest Morton for having

this big party and they give him a trial

and they're going to send him back to

England but instead of like giving him a

ticket back to England they just maroon

him on an island and wait for someone to

pick him up which is that could be fun

if if you have an axe with you and like

you know some survival tools in water

it' be cool yes but he did get picked up

and he went back to England and then the

colony the community of marry Mount

lasted about a year without Morton but

then it collapsed without him as like

kind of their leader so the Puritans

kind of took over and like they kind of

took over for the rest of the land so

I'll tell you a little bit more about

what happened to them later but really

what this is is like this is a story of

we've barely England English people have

barely even been here for like a couple

years and there already this huge clash

between like the old world and the new

world so there's like a new world where

we're maybe going to be more free and

and and be more more creative and like

more you know not so strict and

religious and then there's this old

world that the that the Puritans are

trying to replicate in in the new world

but the whole thing is like the the old

world never existed like there is no

like perfect Puritan world and so

they're trying to do that and like

nothing nostalgic is true so it's like

kind of a whatever they're trying to do

something that was like almost

impossible which is why there's like so

much conflict so there's like this is

like a story of the conflict between

individuality and being more diverse and

more tolerant and then not being like

really religious well that's I think

that's like our interpretation of it so

what was the actual what did they think

they were fighting about they were

fighting about this big party being like

not being as religious as them that's it

yeah they were offended by the party

they called it ungodly okay that's kind

of yeah that's like you just didn't get

invited that's the problem your problem

is you didn't get invited a good point

also every I just my shoes just squeaked

on the mat underneath my feet that was

not a fart just so everybody's clear if

that did pick up in the mic which I

don't know if it did I'm just gonna flag

that nobody knows that's so funny so

yeah so you can just like use this story

as like a manifestation of that old

versus new super religious versus a

little more LAX like still religious but

like not as like strict and anderan

which is like a word we used as you know

a an an adjective so you know Morton was

the new world individualism tolerance

Freedom Bradford was the old world

religion social hierarchy Conformity so

in 1628 Morton does go back to England

he returns a year later and they arrest

him again because they're like we told

you leave like found him somehow it's

1629 like go anywhere else but they they

Ked him out of Massachusetts so he could

never go back to

Massachusetts again and then he ends up

going back to England and coming back

and trying to make a colony in Maine so

Morton goes back and forth a few more

times a couple failed Adventures he

either died I got two conflicting

stories one said he died in England at

64 another said he died in Main in when

he was 71 so either way he you never

went back to Massachusetts and and

didn't really have contact with the

Puritans again and Bradford died um in

1644 which is about 40 years before the

Salem WT witch trials in Plymouth at the

age of 67 so he just continued to like

be the leader of Plymouth and continue

to have it be really strict which as we

saw see with Salem continued to be kind

of the way that people acted and lived

in in that part of the of the colonies

for a long time after what's the

stereotype I think it's a stereotype of

like a not fun really strict religious

that like I am really like offended by

you know and then I think maybe the

other way they could see a stereotype of

like someone who is having being like a

little bit more fun being like ungodly

and maybe like of the devil which is

like where we get to kind of like later

with with witches and stuff like if

you're not doing exactly what I tell you

to do and conforming then like you must

be in League with the devil interesting

yeah I um I don't know if it's like an

Austin thing necessarily I don't think I

was really exposed to much in La it's

been most mostly here where the whole

like witchy vibe that some women have

here it's like awesome like I love that

whole it's so fun it's so fun oh my God

I love it I mean I told you all those

crystals and all the stuff that I keep

buying those are all these witches

markets like they call them witches

markets and you go there and it's just

yeah it's bunch of groovy people just

living their life and like it's it's I

think that some of them do like believe

the stuff that they say but in large

part it's like it's like having a

renfair it's like they just want to have

a good time and pretending they're in

old timey you know moments and this Sage

is gonna ward off evil and it's like it

fun believe see that's like with like

that has what like whatever yeah if you

want to like burn sage in your house or

if you want to pray to make things

better I don't give a [Β __Β ] my problem is

when you ruin other people's lives

because of your beliefs you know like

and I think like witches like your

Austin witchy ladies like they're not

ruining anybody's life they're just

burning some herbs and like I I had a

you know like everyone I had 45 mental

breakdowns during 2020 and I did buy

some spell books you know and I was like

I'm G to start burying stuff in the

backyard and like protecting my house

and like doing these things I'm like

that seems fun you know like why not I'm

gonna I'm going to I'm going to look

this up real quick because I can't

remember it off top of my head I did get

a book that was absolutely disgusting

that you should look at because it was

free um books and reading this is the

least used part of my Amazon

account okay so damn where's the the

silent part of the episode if there's

any any Puritan names that you wish

you'd name your children please give us

an email at Jun topot gmail.com I've

already called cotton and increase but

there's got to be more goodie do want

put the word goodie in front of your

daughter's name have you thought about

that send me an email I've thought about

it we should talk about it more me NS

why I can't find this there's a book

that I got it was um it was Alistair

Crowley's

son who became like a super lame version

of Alistar Crowley himself on all these

books of spells that you could do and

they were like disgusting it was let's

just say there was a lot of like leaving

bodily fluids out in the

open I so much was that it was just like

this guy like like male bodily fluids

yeah we can say that

or yeah like it it was if I wasn't

positive that he believed in the things

that he was saying it sounded like

recipe books for Pazuzu algarad like it

was exactly it was really really bad

it's so funny um yeah I think our

stories are super similar because I

think we're in like creepy like East

Coast woods and people are just like

whether or not like zuzu's schizophrenia

had something to do with it which I

assume that it did like it's that idea

of being like when will something happen

you know like when will something happen

to me and then like I have this terrible

childhood and like I want something to

happen let me be provocative with this

and then like in in colonial America

some people are like maybe we finally

have the chance to make something happen

to like do something different and to

like have some free thought and the

Puritans are like no that's not why

we're here and then I just think it's so

it's more I think about it the more like

of a big deal it is of a larger problem

thinking that like when I was younger I

definitely was told like we're here

because people wanted to do practice

whatever religion they wanted and we

wanted to be you could be whatever you

wanted in America and that's not true

you know and like that's not that was

never true but like I don't know why I

thought about that for a while a while

come here my daughter just came in look

what she has Flo Hi Flo where'd you get

that did Str make it is that a lion what

is that how do you make it oh they're

having a there's like a park next at

Mom's house and there was a clown I

guess and so Lauren's got a well who

made that then a balloon person I'd

rather that than a clown there's a lot

of finger pointing happening off screen

very cool cool balloon animal break very

cool um very very you but you know what

I mean I feel like you can cut it out

but you know but you know I mean I think

it's like it's and now we're in this

time in America today where there's this

like Christian Right Movement that's

like trying to destroy public schools

and Destroy publicly funded things so

that everybody has to pay to go to a a

Christian School so they can pick out

what books people read and like just why

I'm so glad I don't have to pay

attention to any of this stuff I just

live in my little bubble you you cannot

live in your bubble you live in America

you're going to find that something

bad's going to happen to you you you Wen

paying attention to everybody else just

tell me what to vote for it I don't like

you tell me I don't I don't want to pay

attention to politics anymore I don't

want to pay attention to what's going on

in the world just you tell me what to do

perfect okay yeah someone tells me I'm

to get kicked out of Texas but sure as

my first thought was you should move out

of Texas but okay we'll talk that

later ipris is he even convinced Blair I

I am gonna I mean I'm GNA wait BL sorry

I'm G to wait until you're past having

an infant but we should talk about

vising a daughter in Texas I'm sure

you've thought about it Blair's very

smart she can she knows TR do the math

um cool well we'll go ahead and pause

the recording thank you everyone for

listening and yeah thank you for the

suggestion Lindsay for this and thanks

everyone who's sent us things super cool

absolutely and I'll subscribe all the

things YouTube has a lot of views which

is super cool um we got a comment but it

was from an account called by YouTube

followers and I was like well I'm not

gonna buy YouTube followers but thank

you for your interest that was my dog

shaking and her collar ringing that was

not me making that sound just

now um yeah find us on Instagram and

follow us and share us in your stories

and please um thank you for listening

yep awesome thanks

[Music]

Taylor

English (auto-generated)

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