Let's travel a century or so in the future from Britain's Peasant Revolt to what happened in Germany after they had their own. It's fully the Renaissance now, but don't tell that to Anabaptist Jan Matthis; he's planning for the End Times. We're going to have a city under siege, a Preacher who (surprise, surprise) wants to be a King and marry everyone, and a lot of good old-fashioned torture. We recommend the 1993 made-for-German-TV movie with Christoph Waltz - per usual he's evil AND adorable. There are two Jans and three Bernards in this story!
Let's travel a century or so in the future from Britain's Peasant Revolt to what happened in Germany after they had their own. It's fully the Renaissance now, but don't tell that to Anabaptist Jan Matthis; he's planning for the End Times. We're going to have a city under siege, a Preacher who (surprise, surprise) wants to be a King and marry everyone, and a lot of good old-fashioned torture.
We recommend the 1993 made-for-German-TV movie with Christoph Waltz - per usual he's evil AND adorable.
There are two Jans and three Bernards in this story!
Sources:
Dan Carlin - Hardcore History 48 – Prophets of Doom - https://www.dancarlin.com/product/hardcore-history-48-prophets-of-doom/comment-page-6/
A King For Burning / König der letzten Tage (1993) - TV Film - https://archive.org/details/a-king-for-burning-konig-der-letzten-tage
Hi Friends! Our transcripts aren't perfect, but I wanted to make sure you had something - if you'd like an edited transcript, I'd be happy to prioritize one for you - please email doomedtofailpod@gmail.com - Thanks! - Taylor
Doomed to Fail brings you history's most notorious disasters, epic failures
>> Taylor: In the matter of the people of State of California vs. Orenthal James Simpson, case number BA097. And so, my fellow Americans, ask not.
>> Farz: What your country can do for you.
>> Taylor: Ask what you can do for your country.
>> Farz: We are courting Taylor. Hello again. How are you doing?
>> Taylor: Good. M, same. How are you?
>> Farz: also the same. Feeling pretty mid, but energized.
>> Taylor: Good. Are you gonna go to yoga later?
>> Farz: So I actually went this morning, and then for a moment, I was like, maybe I'll go again later this afternoon. But then, like, again, people are coming in town in the house, the pigsty, and the dogs are needing to go get walked and do all that stuff. So I'm gonna skip it. Thank you. I'm an athlete.
>> Taylor: Yeah, sure.
>> Farz: Sure. Yeah.
>> Taylor: Okay, cool. Hello, everyone. Welcome to Doomed to Fail. We bring you history's most notorious disasters, epic failures, twice a week, every week. I'm Taylor, joined by fars.
>> Farz: Yeah, M. I'm here, too.
>> Taylor: It's my turn.
>> Farz: It is Taylor's turn.
We're going to talk about something in the 1500s
>> Taylor: Cool. We're going to talk about something in the time period that you just talked about. So we're in the 1500s. Ish. In another part of Europe. And do you remember my last two episodes that were kind of prepping for this? Kind of.
>> Farz: Not really.
>> Taylor: I did the Peasants Revolt and Chaucer.
>> Farz: And so I do remember that, but I don't know how that would prep me for this.
>> Taylor: I'm gonna. Well, I'm telling you that. I'm gonna tell you that. I'm just telling you that it was a legendly a prep. So you understand kind of what's happening in Europe at this time. In the Peasants Revolt, we talked about how peasants demanded more money because they. There were less of them, post the Black Death and all of that. So that's. That has happened. That happened in, like, the late 1300s. We're like 150, 200 years later. But, things are still happening. Things, you know, they move faster now than they did then, I think.
Deborah Kaufman talks about her favorite cheese, Muenster
but we're going to talk about my favorite cheese. Slash. A moment in time when thousands of people died.
>> Farz: Brie.
>> Taylor: No, but I do like brie. No. Munster. It's a Munster rebellion. Have you. So, for the record, Muenster cheese is not from Munster, Germany. It's from a place called Munster and Elsa. Elsace, which is between France and Germany, which is where my people are from. Which is why I must like mustard cheese so much.
>> Farz: I don't know what mustard cheese.
>> Taylor: It's like a very, like, creamy, plain I just like eat it on like toast.
>> Farz: Like, is it stinky?
>> Taylor: No, it's like very mild. You only do stinky.
>> Farz: No, I can't do stinky cheese.
>> Taylor: Okay. It's not stinky. It's normal. so Munster, Germany is in the northwest of Germany. It's kind of landlocked in the middle. Not near any seas or anything, but there's like rivers and such. And my sources are obviously a, Dan Carlin. And again, I will make a personal pact to stop obsessing over Dan Carlin's blue sky after this episode comes out. But he did one called Prophets of Doom a long time ago. It was like a one hitter. It's like three hours long.
>> Farz: And they're all three hours long.
>> Taylor: No, but it's like a 11 episode. Three hours long. It's not.
>> Farz: Oh, wow, six episodes.
>> Taylor: It's only one.
>> Farz: Wow. Wow. Okay.
>> Taylor: Yeah, and there's only one. And he said, he talks about this. There's not a lot of information, especially not in English because it's something that, you know, there are books about it in German, but not that many in English as well. So there's not. I basically listened to his. But then I also, and I find this with Dan, my good friend Dan Carlin, that it helps me to listen to his stuff, get some sort of like visual or other information about it and then listen to it again knowing what I know from that. So like the Alexander the Great episodes that he's doing right now, the first episode, when he put that out, I had started to read an Alexander the Great book for this show. And then I was like, oh, I'm not gonna do it because I want to wait for Dan's to be done. But having the context of that book, the first couple chapters that I read helped me understand what was happening when Dan was talking. You know, I just needed to know a little bit more.
>> Farz: well, I think that's. Yeah, we've mentioned this before. Like you kind of need to listen to his episodes like two or three times because. Yeah, yeah.
>> Taylor: So for this one I wanted to. I was working on it and then noticed someone posted on Reddit, on the Dan Carlin Reddit that I promised to not be on for a while. that there's a movie and it was on the Internet Archive and it's called, in English it's called A King for Burning, but in German it's called the King of the Last Day. It's in German, it's a made for TV movie from the 1990s and I don't have you. You've been to Europe, where it's a. People are a lot more naked on tv. Have you noticed that in Europe?
>> Farz: I did not notice that.
>> Taylor: So I remember I went to Germany in 2000, so 25 years ago. And I was with my, like, the girl Michaela that I. That I, like, study abroad, switched with, and she was like, we were watching a movie and, like, there was, like, people were naked in it and it was, like, on tv. And she was like. She's like, oh, sorry. I was like, no, I just, like, like, not made for tv. Movies in America don't have nude people that they do there. So anyway, there's a lot of nudity in this movie. And they swear in German, but whatever. Not like. Not like that's bad. But I'm just, like, saying that I was surprised that it was just, like, on regular TV when I went there when I was 18. Christoph Waltz is in it. You know who he is? Oh, yeah, he's delightful. He's, obviously a fantastic actor. And a woman named Deborah Kaufman is in it. And she's in a show called Dark, which is on Netflix. It's. It's in German. It is so good. So if you ever. I'm sure that. I'm sure they have it, like, dubbed as well, but it's also really great. So, anyway, I watched that movie. it is four hours long, but it was worth it because it gave me some faces, even though they're, like, obviously not real faces. But it helped me, like, be like, oh, we're talking about this person and this person, because there's several people with the same name in the story. So do that. So I recommend it.
Germany is going to have its own peasants revolt around 1500
So we talked about the Middle Ages in England. Germany is going to have its own peasants revolt around 1500. So a little bit later than the one in England. But it's the same idea. Peasants are like, you can't keep treating us like this. Like, things are really terrible, obviously, like, all over Europe for. For people of that class. It's 1534, and we're in Germany and we're full Renaissance. Because we were like, end of Middle Ages, almost Renaissance. Now we're full Renaissance. The Mona Lisa is 30 years old. So we're in the Renaissance.
>> Farz: Yep.
Martin Luther said the Catholic Church was selling indulgences
>> Taylor: So since we last spoke. And this ties into what you were saying as well with, like, Protestantism and Catholicism. So Martin Luther did his treaties on the door of the church, basically saying that, like, the Catholic Church, they were selling indulgences, which was a Ticket to get into heaven faster that you could buy for yourself or for someone else. And, like, isn't that what they believe anyway? They can just forgive people?
>> Farz: I don't know enough to know that.
>> Taylor: Like, I don't think, like, this was obviously a scam, but maybe it was just more obvious of a scam than just, like, getting your sins.
>> Farz: I think the difference is, one is, like, I admit that I did something wrong, and that clears my soul, versus, like, I don't care that I shot that guy in the head. I pay you. Yeah. Here's 20 bucks.
>> Taylor: Just. Yeah.
>> Farz: Make them think I'm guilt. Not guilty.
>> Taylor: And I don't have to tell you that's true, too.
>> Farz: There you go.
>> Taylor: Yeah. Yeah. Thank you. That makes m. Tons of sense. So Martin Luther translated the Bible from the original Greek into something that people could read, which is bad because the Bible says, you know, be nice to people, and there shouldn't be ultra rich people and there shouldn't be ultra poor people. but people. Humanity hates that. They don't want that to be the way that we. The way that the world is. if, for example, hypothetically, the World Food program from the UN told me that $6 billion would solve world hunger, I would not then give a $6 billion to my own charity and not end world hunger. But sometimes rich people do that, and I don't.
>> Farz: Wait, I don't get it. What's. Say it again.
>> Taylor: Elon Musk was like, basically, how much money would it cost to end world hunger? So the World Food Program said, it will cost $6 billion. Here's a very detailed plan. He said, great. He took $6 billion, put it into his own charity, and never did it.
>> Farz: I feel like there's a lot of simplification in that statement.
>> Taylor: But it. But. Yeah, but, like. But I think. But I think it's the same thing that, like, ultra rich and ultra poor, like, that's just something we can't get out of. Yeah.
>> Farz: Because everybody who's everybody wants to be ultra rich.
>> Taylor: I know, but that if somebody said.
>> Farz: That you could have a private jet and you never have to work again, and all you could do is, like, be an archaeologist and you travel with your kids. Like. Yeah, everybody in the planet would do that.
>> Taylor: No, I know, but that's not what the. But the Bible. But I would still help people.
>> Farz: Sure, you'd help people. It's just like, I'm saying, like, nobody doesn't want to be ultra rich.
>> Taylor: I know. That's what I'm saying. That's why we can't have a society where, like, everyone is fed because people are always trying to be ultra rich. Yeah, yeah, we're agreeing.
>> Farz: Then where's the argument?
>> Taylor: There isn't. I'm just stating some facts.
>> Farz: Got it, got it.
>> Taylor: Okay, so. But the Bible says, you know, that there shouldn't be ultra rich or ultra poor, but that's obviously, the church hates that because they always want to, like, have gold as well. So. also, the Catholic Church didn't stop doing sermons in Latin until the 1960s, at least in America. So my mom remembers when it switched from Latin to English. So they.
>> Farz: Yeah, that was, like, a bad move in terms of acquisition to, like, can you imagine if you could only see movies in a different language with no subtitles?
>> Taylor: Yeah. You'd be like, well, then you. Then you'd have to interpret it on your own. Which I guess is what the point was.
Anabaptists believe you should be baptized when you're an adult
But also, last podcast just did an episode about a shipwreck that had, a new sect of Protestantism in it. So that is, ah, kind of why I was reminded to talk about this story as well. But essentially, out of all of the different sects of. Of Protestants and Lutherans and people that came out of this, are the Anabaptists, and they are people who think that. And this part, I think, is pretty normal. And the Anabaptist sect thinks that, you should be baptized when you're an adult, because then you can, like, give consent, essentially, which makes sense to me.
>> Farz: Yeah, I get it.
>> Taylor: You know, because there's infant baptism, you know, which is, like, been on and off as a thing that people do. there is, you know, I, think some people do it when, like, your kids, people do it when you, like, reach adulthood, like, whatever. With the Anabaptists in this time, their thing was like, we want you should be baptized and you're an adult. So Anabaptist means, like, baptized again. So people would get baptized again because if I was baby, do it again. They wanted to have, like, communal societies, like, based on, like, this, like, everybody help each other thing that, like, the Bible says, and the Catholics and Lutheran, like, aristocracy pretty much was like, no, like, you can't. You can't do that. We need to, you know, have our fancy hats and such. So it's also extreme part of the Anabaptists, there was always an end to time coming, of course, because there's always like, you know, the world's gonna end at this time. We need to be saved. You need to follow me. It Might include violence. So you need to be ready for violence in case of the end times. And that can turn into something that's a smidge cultish, as you can imagine.
>> Farz: You said a smidge cultish?
>> Taylor: Yeah, yeah.
>> Farz: I mean, yeah.
>> Taylor: And the one that. The example that Dan uses that he starts off with and it makes sense later is Waco. Essentially like someone saying the world is ending. You all have to be with me. We are the last people on earth. That kind of thing. Which I feel like we should. One of us should do that eventually.
>> Farz: I, I sort of. Yeah, probably.
>> Taylor: Probably. I think it's just.
>> Farz: It's just been done so many times by everyone I know.
>> Taylor: But so it's amazing, you know.
Munster is a beautiful German town
Anyways, so these are. So the Anabaptists are coming out of this Reformation, just FYI. So we're in Northern Europe. Munster is a beautiful German town. I've been there. I have not been there, but I've been to Cologne, which is bigger but has the same vibe. But you can imagine like it has a big cathedral. It has like these like beautiful houses. It was very, very, very much bombed during World War II, but it seems to be back, back to the way it was. so it's like a typical German town. also, we know Germany isn't like Germany at this point. It's a bun. Principalities. But it's like in the place, the space that German is. And they speak German. We've talked about that a lot. So we have some. Our cast of characters in this story. We have the Prince Bishop. He's basically the head of the Catholic Church. And like, so he's really, really powerful in Munster. His name is Franz von Valdec. We're going to call him the Prince Bishop. So Prince Bishop, we have the mayor who is Bernard Nipperdolling. so he is the mayor of Munster. So like the non religious governmental side, but he's so obviously very religious. We're going to call him Nipper Dolling. And then, there's two other Bernards that we will mention. There's Bernard Crichting and Bernard Rothman. We'll mention them like casually at the end. So there's two other Bernards, but the main Bernard is Nipperdolling. We're calling Nipperdolling M. He's the mayor.
>> Farz: I can see why that movie helped out a lot because it's a lot of the same.
>> Taylor: It's a lot of the same name. Yeah, exactly. And then we have two Jans. We have Jan Matthias, which is funny. Because you also said Matthias earlier. he is a preacher. We're going to call him Jan Matthias. And we also have another Jan Yan von Linden. I'm going to call him jvl. So Jan von Linden. Jvl Jan Mathias Yamathias. Two Bernards we're not going to talk about much. Bernard Nipper Darling. Nipper Darling. And the Prince bishop. So it's 1534, and Yamathias has come to Munster from Holland. He enters the city on January 5th and starts baptizing people. One of the first people that he baptized, Remember this is like a re. Baptism when you're adult, is one of the Bernards. So I think it's Bernard Crichting. Who's the one that was first, baptized. Nope. Bernard Rothman. Doesn't matter. So Yamathias was following one of the original Anabaptists named Melchor Hoffman, which is a dope name. Melchor Hoffman lived up in, in the Netherlands. And Yamathias was following him, but also wanted to, like, have this, like, the end of the world is coming. We need to be a little bit more ready for some sort of violence. So he left and, went down into. Into Germany. Yamathias is someone who talks to God. Like, God's there next to him. He will, like, stop and be like, what did you. What did you say? Okay, cool. Far as he says, he says, you're dumb. Welcome back.
>> Farz: It seems like a cheat code.
>> Taylor: I know. So he. He will, like, he has an air button, like, stop and listen to God. he might have believed that he. That he really did. So maybe there was, like, something wrong with him that he believed he was speaking to God. I don't believe it, but, like, I'm not a doctor, but, like, I don't believe that. I, I think these. I think these guys are all making it up.
>> Farz: Yeah, you could just say whatever you wanted because who's going to call you out?
>> Taylor: Exactly. Yeah. So, yeah, so he's. He'll. He says he's talking to God. he's married and he brings his wife with him to the city and he starts to preach, and people start to listen. So when I say preaching, I mean, he's like, standing on a. In the town square yelling, you know?
>> Farz: Yeah, we have a lot of those preachers here, too, in downtown Austin.
>> Taylor: And now we have one. He, like, he doesn't even yell. He just like, has like a. A boombox and plays someone else yelling. But anyway, so people start to listen and he says, God has told me that the end of the world is coming asap. It actually, he said earlier that it was coming to Straussberg, but then it didn't happen.
People start becoming Anabaptists, following Yamatias around
So he said, jk, it's monster. You know, he had had to keep moving that goalpost. and it's like, if you've read the Stand by Stephen King, it's like Boulder. It's like, everybody come to the city, where you will be saved. I know you haven't read the Stand.
>> Farz: Thanks for not even asking.
>> Taylor: I wasn't going to ask. But if anyone out there is read, the sand, it's like bouldered. So these guys start, like, taking over hardcore. People start becoming Anabaptists. They start getting baptized, following Yamatias around. And it has not been long, it has been like a month. And people are doing this. So the Prince Bishop is getting very worried. Nipper darling, the mayor is getting very worried. And, eventually the Anabaptists expel all the non Anabaptists from the city. They say you get an opportunity to get baptized again. And some people, they believed. Some people they didn't believe. Because I feel like I'd be like, now I'd be the kind of person that'd be like, okay, who cares? Like, yeah, that's why.
>> Farz: That's why I don't understand what the big deal is. Like, just do it again.
>> Taylor: Who gives a shit, right? But I feel like people really, truly believed this, you know, so some Catholics, like, would not do it. So they got kicked out. Like in the middle of the night, they raided all their houses, made everybody leave. You couldn't bring anything with you. People died, There was burning. You know, they kicked out, you know, thousands of people from the city. And now the city is just Anabaptists. And Munster is again, like, we talked about this with London. It's a walled city. So it has about like a three mile long wall all the way around it. And the wall is very thick. So, like, they're in the city and they can't. There's no way out. There's no way in. Like, they're very sequestered in the city now that they've kicked everybody out. After they do that, private property is abolished. And it's kind of like a place where everyone shares everything. So you had to keep your door unlocked. People could come in and, like, grab your stuff. It was like a total like equal society. Quotes. It's not equal.
>> Farz: But everybody, everybody who wants this would absolutely fucking hate this.
>> Taylor: Yeah, they hate it. I mean, most people Just are just kind of trying to survive. During the story, there is a blacksmith who's upset about this. He's like, this is crazy. Like, what is happening? And he challenges Yam Matthias up in the town square, and he's, like, yelling at him. And Yamathias is thinking, like, what do I do? He's kind of scared. And then Jan van Leyten, JVL comes in and stabs the blacksmith. And he eventually dies. Doesn't die immediately, but he eventually dies. And that really gives JVL his name, because now he's someone who can, like, do the thing for the Anabaptist. So he's willing to, like, commit murder for this cause that, like, he believes.
>> Farz: In the blacksmith slayer.
>> Taylor: Yes. Yes. So the people inside are generally happy. They're excited. They think that they're the chosen people. You know, they think that they are, you know, the new Jerusalem. God's going to come down in a few months and take them to heaven, all of that. So Dan mentions that people have this, like, mass hysteria, and some people think it might be ergot poisoning, which I don't think is true, because that's what. Same thing with the witch trials. Like, afterwards, people are going to be like, ooh, we're sorry. We got really weird. You know, like, people are.
>> Farz: Religious fanaticism. Isn't that abnormal?
>> Taylor: no, I know, exactly. I don't think it's a poison in your brain. I think it's just.
>> Farz: I think it's just, like, fanaticism.
>> Taylor: Yeah, exactly. Exactly.
JVL says that Easter was the day that the rapture was going to happen
So the Prince Bishop obviously is not happy. He got kicked out with everybody else. So he camps outside the city and waits. So he builds, like, another city outside of Munster, essentially, where he is, like, just, like, waiting and keeping Munster under siege. They can't get out. They can't get any supplies. He's just, like, standing there. so in April, there is a battle kind of at the, like, the main gate of Munster. And Yamathias had said, and this is only two. He's been there, like, from January to April. He's been there, like, three months. And he said that Easter was the day that. That the rapture was going to come. All this stuff was going to happen. Of course it doesn't. Yamathias and a group of guys go out to try to fight the Prince Bishop. They lose. They all die. Yamathias, his head gets cut off, put on a spike, and his genitals get nailed to the door, which is gross.
>> Farz: We know for sure it's his genitals Great question.
>> Taylor: I don't know for sure. No.
>> Farz: Okay, well, see, these are the questions we got to ask.
>> Taylor: Yeah. I also feel like after. Yeah. No, I don't know. I don't know how, you know, Kind of gross, right?
>> Farz: When you think about it, when you start dwelling on that somebody had to hold it.
>> Taylor: I definitely don't. Hand.
>> Farz: And somebody had. They had to cut it with the other hand, and then they had to, like, hold it up with blood poured. It's just like. It's just.
>> Taylor: No. Yeah, you know, gross job. So he was essentially. He was the leader, and he's dead, and it's been a couple months. People are like, well, what are we going to do? So, of course, JVL has always been there. he, you know, was a person who stabbed the blacksmith. He's been, like, working his way up. He's been preaching. And he also came from, like, Holland from. From north. And he heard there were opportunities in Munster to, preach. He was a failed tailor and a failed actor and, like, a million other things and was like, I think I could make my living preaching. Which kind of reminds me of. Remember when Van Gogh thought he could do that, but people don't like that. Well, back when we talked about Van Gogh, like, two years ago, he would go. He went to England and tried to be a preacher. People were like, this is way too much for me because he had a really thick accent and was really, really, really, really excited about God. And people were like, But I feel like JVL is like that, but people love it in this time.
>> Farz: It also reminds me a little. It also reminds me a little of, There Will Be Blood, where like. Yes, if you're, like, just crazy enough and just lacking in morals enough, you can be, like, a very successful preacher.
>> Taylor: Yes, yes, exactly. Exactly. So JVL takes charge. He's like, I'll be in charge now that Yamatius is dead. He was obviously married in Holland because of course he was. And, like, left his wife to go be a preacher. I feel like that happens a thousand times. And so he, like, left. He, like, left her, was like, I'll be back. Never went back. he also then the first person he marries in. In Munster, he marries Nipper Dolling's daughter. he also then is like, I want to marry other people, which is very David crush of him. So he says that, you know, the Bible says, I don't know who King David had a bunch of wives or whatever, so everyone should have whatever many wives that they want. There were definitely more than men in the city. some of the Catholic nuns, you know, they were no longer Catholic nuns anymore. So they were like young women who were, you know, of marrying age, whatever that means. And so men could have more than one wife all of a sudden, which cults do all the time. They love that shit.
>> Farz: But I also think that back then, that's probably not a bad idea because, like, again, nobody exists back then because we just died so frequently.
>> Taylor: That's true. I mean, your wife is. One of your wives is definitely going to die in childbirth, if not more than one. Yeah.
>> Farz: So like, had like, seven of them because you know that four of them are going to die, and then, like, they're each going to have seven kids and eight of those are going to die. Well, that is math. That math doesn't add up.
>> Taylor: But still, you know what I mean? Yeah, I know.
Taylor: Rats reproduce a lot because they die so often
>> Farz: So I was just listening to this For Economics episode about the brown rat and how reviled it is in the US Especially, and they were talking about how, I never thought about it this way, but they were like, yeah, every female rat after three months can produce a litter of at least eight other rats. And every one of those goes into gestation three months later. And he was actually like, why is nothing else evolved like that? And, like, because rats are the biggest prey animal there is, so they're literally made to be eaten. And so as a result, because they die so often, they have to reproduce a lot. So do that with humans. I'm not saying humans are rats. I'm just saying, like, we were like rats because we died really fast.
>> Taylor: Yeah, I'm. I'm coming over to the side. Yes. Because also, like, you're going to learn.
>> Farz: That Taylor is pro polygamy.
>> Taylor: I mean, your wife's going to die and you're going to marry someone else anyway, and then she's going to die. So you might as well do it all all at once. Yeah.
>> Farz: And then your husband's going to get, like, his legs blown off. Not even that his pinky's blown off. And that's going to be like, infection will kill him.
>> Taylor: Right. But then what do you do when the husband, like, falls into a poop hole in the middle of town and dies and you have seven wives and 400 children to take care of and there's no man. Yeah.
>> Farz: They just all die in poverty horribly. It's a horrible time to be again, everybody who thinks that the world sucks today.
>> Taylor: You wouldn't last anywhere else in the 1500s. Absolutely. Terrible. but now, now they can marry whoever they want. In the movie, they're like, if the woman doesn't scream bloody murder, then a guy can just take her. Again, not great. And obviously they're young as well, so. But, he also marries Yan, Matthias's widow. She's kind of the queen. She's, In the movie, it's very clear that she has the nicest clothes. She's just like the. She came down, she had the nicest stuff, and she's like the queen. JVL is like the king. And later, one of his wives is going to be beheaded because she didn't, like, go along with what he said. But generally he had a bunch of wives, maybe up to 16. they've also taken everyone's stuff. So in the vein of equality, they've taken all the jewels from all the people that they made leave. And for everybody there, like, let's even it out. Let's take all the money. We'll take care of everybody. So they've taken all the jewels. At some point, someone melts down all the jewels and makes JVL literally a crown and, like, crowns him with it. So, like, you won't be surprised to know that, like, he has nice stuff, even though nobody else has nice stuff. No.
>> Farz: No.
>> Taylor: Way Wild. So in the. In the first half of the TV movie, he looks like Jesus. You know, he has. He's wearing robes and it's. Christoph Waltz. Has like a beard, looks like Jesus. The second half, like, immediately he's wearing, like, a really nice, like, outfit. You know, like, he's obviously, like, taking good care of himself. so sometimes some of the people. Like, there's one thing I read that said that people were like, asked to, like, go around naked because they were trying to be like, as. Even as possible. But also it's cold. So I feel like that there's no way people went with that. But they're in their. In their city. It's under siege. John Matthias died on. In east on Easter 1534. The city is under siege until June 1535. So a little bit over a year they stay in the. In the city without any supplies, without. Without like, adding any new. Any new things. So that means no food. So people start eating the animals. They eat horses, then dogs and cats, then rats, then their shoes. Then they start eating each other, digging up bodies and eating them. People are just dying. People are, like, literally starving to death in there. And JVL keeps being like, it's okay because we're Going to be saved. His motto is, gottes macht is Meincracht, which means, God's might is my strength. So you're starving to death, but you have this man being like, we are the chosen people. We are going to be okay. Just wait. Just wait. Just wait. So I read on, Wikipedia that one historian was like, okay, well, all of the information we have about this are from people who won this. This, like, battle and didn't and are not the Anabaptists. We don't have their side of the story. If we had their side of the story, we might have heard that. Like, it was nice you could share everything and people were really happy. But I feel like that is horseshit.
>> Farz: That is absolute, absolute horseshit.
The Prince Bishop and his forces attacked the city in 1536
>> Taylor: Also is, like, the women were not happy no matter what. You know? Like, no.
>> Farz: Every example where we did this as a society, it doesn't work. It, has never worked, and nobody's been happy for it.
>> Taylor: Yeah. So I was like, that's crap. I don't think. I don't think it.
>> Farz: Hey, can you. The name of the movie that Christoph Waltz was in?
>> Taylor: Yeah, it's, A King for Burning. Might be. I have the IMDb link. I wonder what they call it. I'm going to be. Hold on. Yeah. A King for burning from 1993.
>> Farz: 93, yeah.
>> Taylor: Yeah.
>> Farz: Okay. Thank you. That's it. I was. I. I was tired of constantly searching for it.
>> Taylor: No, totally. No. You want to, like, see their faces. Christoph Waltz is so cute. He's such, like a. He's like a little guy, and then he's like, can be so bad. So this is happening. Things are probably really, really bad. There are some spies during the siege. So some people do go in and out. They pretend to, like, defect, and they come back and some people get killed. There Young woman who says, she'll go out and try to poison the prince Bishop, but, like, she gets caught. Basically, the prince Bishop is, like, standing outside the wall every day being like, give this up. Give me my city back. Everyone stop.
>> Farz: It's ridiculous. We all know it's ridiculous. Everybody hates it here.
>> Taylor: Yeah, the. The real Martin Luther, like, wrote a letter that was like, no, this is dumb. Like, this is not. This is not anything that I preached at all. Like, this is not no good. but they're still going.
>> Farz: But again, the original intent was to live as closely to the telling of the Bible as possible. That was the original intent.
>> Taylor: Yeah. Which is even worse. Time to be alive.
>> Farz: Infinitely worse.
>> Taylor: The further. It just gets worse. And Worse. so eventually the Prince Bishop and his forces attacked the city maybe, at night by accident, because people outside the city were drunk a lot of the time because they were just, like, hanging out and doing this siege. But in the city, they were not drunk because there was no alcohol, because they either they, like, drank it all, or they were, like, you know, not doing it because of religion or whatever. So the. The people on the Prince Bishop side were a little bit of a mess. but they did. They did end up attacking and, like, getting into the city, and a ton of people died. You know, they were, like, burning things down. People were dying. the. The queen gets decapitated along with some other people. jvl, was found hiding in a cellar, because, of course he was hiding in the cellar and not, like, out there trying to, like, be safe, save the people. I did look it up that there's a 50, 50 about Koresh taking his own life. but he might have done that. so JVL tried to make a bargain with the Prince Bishop. He said, why don't you take me on tour and show me to people around Germany? For a penny a piece, you can make a ton of money. They do that in the movie, but I don't think they did that in real life. But essentially, people would, like, pay to go see him and laugh at him. But I don't. I don't think that really happened. but he was taken to prison outside of Munster and then brought back. And on January 22, 1536, he was tortured and killed. Bernard Kreisling and Nipper Darling were also killed with him at the same time. What they did is they tied them to a pole and spent, like, an hour or so just burning them with, like, a hot poker. So they would, like, poke him on the sides. In the movie, they burn off his nipple. Real gross.
Taylor: So their bodies were hung in metal cages from Munster church
They have, like, these, like, tongs that are, like, really red hot and, like, pinch them with the tongs. So they're being burned and tortured. Then they cut off their tongues, and then they kill them by stabbing them in the chest with a burning spike.
>> Farz: You know what's funny is it reminds me of, like, how people who are, like, so out of touch with everything else, like, it's not that bad. People don't hate me that much. It's all good. And then they, like, catching, like, oh, we gotta, like, make this the worst punishment possible.
>> Taylor: Yeah, yeah. No, it's really, really bad. So their bodies were hung in these metal cages from St Lambert's Church in Munster. they were there.
>> Farz: That was wild. I thought that they were in there alive. I was like, that's terrifying.
>> Taylor: I thought that at first, too, like in willow. But no, they were in there. They're in there dead. But they removed their bones 50 years later. So they were there until they were bones. I'm sure, like, birds were eating them. You know, all that stuff. and the cages are still there today. the whole church was redone in the 1800s, and then it was bombed on November 18, 1944. One cage fell to the ground, another one hit the organ, and the third one dangled. They were repaired in 1948. So the ones. The original cages are there, but the. But the church has been repaired. and since 1987, they light up at night as a reminder.
>> Farz: So they're still foisted in the air. Yeah, that's how much you're hated.
>> Taylor: Yeah, they're still there. And they, put them back after the church was destroyed during the war, you know, so they put them back after it as well. the city, obviously, was a disaster, but it returned to Catholic control. and they were able to, like, put. Put things back together. But it was, like a crazy year and a half in Munster.
>> Farz: Yeah. Wild.
>> Taylor: Yeah. and that's it. And then I have, like, post Women's History Month. I have something that's, like, not related, but feels a little bit related that I'll talk about later, that I'll bring up. But, another story for the future. But that is the story of the Munster rebellion and the Anabaptists, and a lot of people died for no reason. Yeah.
>> Farz: It's fun. they would have died anyways, Taylor. Like, honestly, who gives a shit?
>> Taylor: I mean, like, we wouldn't have known their names anyway. You know, how many of these, like, walled cities people just, like, live their life until they were 35 and died of old age?
>> Farz: Yes.
>> Taylor: And there's no way they died at.
>> Farz: 35 at an old age.
>> Taylor: That's what I mean. Yeah.
>> Farz: Right.
>> Taylor: And. And there's no. There's no one where, like, the Church doesn't have all the money, you know? Oh, my God.
Pope Francis is in critical condition and showing mild signs of kid
Also, I wonder if the Pope's gonna die by the time this comes out. Yeah.
>> Farz: What is going on with him?
>> Taylor: He's, like, might be dead. And they're like, he's on, like, a ventilator. He's not doing well.
>> Farz: Pope Francis is in critical condition and showing mild signs of kid. Is he really that old?
>> Taylor: 88, I thought.
>> Farz: I will say out of all the popes, I like him the most. He's definitely better than the last guy.
>> Taylor: Yeah. Oh, he doesn't look good. He's 88 years old.
>> Farz: Yeah, it's not that crazy old.
>> Taylor: He he got.
>> Farz: He. He got weird looking.
>> Taylor: He gained a lot of weight in his face. Face. So maybe he's on like medication and stuff, you know. His name is Jorge. Jorge Mario Beliojo. He's Argentinian. Anyway, yes. Siblings. That's weird. Not weird, but like, that is weird. What if your brother was pope? What does your brother do? Oh, he's the Pope. Oh, they also. Parents.
>> Farz: Parents always take his side in every argument.
>> Taylor: Just because I have this tech job, mom. Doesn't mean that.
>> Farz: Sorry, I'm m. Only a neurosurgeon, mom.
>> Taylor: Sorry. Yeah, he's not doing well. Yeah, those 51 minutes ago is in critical condition. So we'll see if we have. If we have a Pope by Wednesday when this comes out.
>> Farz: Sweet. anything else? Taylor? That was fun.
>> Taylor: Thanks. Yeah, it was super fun. I'm gonna go out of medieval times, into something more modern that I have been talking to my children about. So my first Women's history month, I read a kids book, like a kids chapter book to my kids about it and we've been talk about it a lot. So I'm excited. Very fun to share that with you. and yeah, anyone if you have any ideas for us. Women's History month and beyond. doomed to fail pod gmail.com on social media. Doomed to fail Pod. Find us, talk to us, tell your friends. Please put a review on Apple podcasts.
The movie is dubbed over so the lips don't match the words
We have, we have, we have some and I'm so appreciative of them. or any like random corner of the world where you listen.
>> Farz: If you make us famous, we will make you famous by calling out and shouting out a listener once a week.
>> Taylor: Do you remember when last podcast listed every one of their Patreon people at the end of every episode?
>> Farz: Yeah, I. You were one of them. And I cut it out. Like I couldn't listen to it.
>> Taylor: No, I listened to it at one point just to hear my name, but it took a long last time.
>> Farz: Yeah, it was like the last 17 minutes of an episode and they just read the names non stop.
>> Taylor: but yeah, thank you. That's fun. I learned a lot. I feel like my German is just so terrible also that I like took German for like eight years and watching this movie, I was like, oh my God, I'm dumb. Also, if anyone watches the movie, please let me know. Because I think that there's this thing that I've seen in horror movies from Europe in the 80s and 90s where I think that people are speaking whatever language is most comfortable for them. And it's all dubbed over so the lips match the words for like the guy playing the prince Bishop. But the woman playing the queen, she's Spanish and I don't. Her lips do not match the words. So I think that they did it. They're doing the thing where she's doing her lines in Spanish, he's doing his lines in German and they're putting them over because I've seen that in like some weird horror movies as well. And I'm like, what is this? But it was like a style that they did in Europe, you know, in the 80s and 90s.
>> Farz: There's literally no German women they could have hired for this.
>> Taylor: I'm sure there were plenty. I mean, there are other German women in it, but their lips matched the words, you know, But I was like, I can't say this any longer because I'm trying to like find the German words in the sentence and then.
>> Farz: So annoying. Every now and then, Netflix in particular has a thing where it'll like, if you pause it and you play it, it'll be like a, tenth of a second lag from the audio starting versus the video. And it's just often like, I can't, I can't do this anymore. I gotta go.
>> Taylor: Yeah, yeah, no, I, I also like a lot of the, like, voiceovers. I don't. They sound terrible.
>> Farz: Agreed.
>> Taylor: You know, anyway, anyway, thanks for staying around for that two second conversation.
>> Farz: again, please write to us@dunfall podmail.com, find us on the socials at Dubnafl Pod and, comment on our Tick Tock, which Taylor is super proactive about. And, I'm, I'm, boycotting.
>> Taylor: But how, how moral of you.
>> Farz: I'm a very. Yeah. I can't even go there, you.
>> Taylor: Know, you know, talk with your money or whatever. You know what I mean? Anyway.
We need to stop announcing our numbers so people assume we're bigger
Oh, we have, we have 839followers on tick Tock.
>> Farz: We literally need to stop announcing our numbers so that people assume that we're bigger than we are.
>> Taylor: I know that sounds terrible, but it's so much more than we had last week.
>> Farz: I know, but they don't need to know that. Guys, we have 8 million listeners and you're just one of many.
>> Taylor: I m mean, you are one of many.
>> Farz: That's true.
>> Taylor: Many.
>> Farz: That is many.
>> Taylor: Anyway, thanks, Fars.
>> Farz: We'll go ahead and cut this off.