We've said it before, and we'll say it again - divorce is an option. It's not great, people will be sad, kids will be traumatized, but it's WORSE to be the child of a murderer and not have a mom. Today, Farz tells us about how Helle Crafts's husband, Eastern Airlines pilot Richard Crafts, thought that the best way to keep sleeping with floight attendents would be to get rid of his wife, and her body. We won't spoil it here, but it's gross (not goopy though!).
We've said it before, and we'll say it again - divorce is an option. It's not great, people will be sad, kids will be traumatized, but it's WORSE to be the child of a murderer and not have a mom.
Today, Farz tells us about how Helle Crafts's husband, Eastern Airlines pilot Richard Crafts, thought that the best way to keep sleeping with floight attendents would be to get rid of his wife, and her body. We won't spoil it here, but it's gross (not goopy though!).
Hi Friends! Our transcripts aren't perfect, but I wanted to make sure you had something - if you'd like an edited transcript, I'd be happy to prioritize one for you - please email doomedtofailpod@gmail.com - Thanks! - Taylor
Taylor: I love an after dinner coffee if I have guests over
>> Taylor: In the matter of the people of State of California vs. Orenthal James Simpson, case number BA097.
>> Farz: And so, my fellow Americans, ask not.
>> Taylor: What your country can do for you.
>> Farz: We are back, Taylor, and you are migrating from the caffeinated to the decaf Diet Coke. I see.
>> Taylor: I am. I did pour a decaf Diet coke into my. Into my McDonald's cup.
>> Farz: I mean, it's not that late there. You probably still muster another non decaf for like 20 more minutes.
>> Taylor: Yeah, it's 5:45. I can. I can do it pretty late. I'm not like, my husband has to stop drinking caffeine at like 1pm I'm still. I can still go pretty far. And like, you know what? I love an after dinner coffee if I have guests over. Like, I love having coffee after dinner, but like, you know, it doesn't happen all the time.
>> Farz: It's a nice end cap to a good meal.
>> Taylor: Mm.
>> Farz: And I think. I think because of our previous work history together, we were so full of coffee for so long that we're desensitized. I would say it was like the.
>> Taylor: Only thing that you could do to break up a day is get up and get a cup of coffee.
>> Farz: It is true.
Doomed to Fail was the inspiration for a very famous movie
>> Taylor: Hello, everyone. Welcome to Doomed to Fail. We bring you history's most notorious disasters and epic failures twice a week. And today, Fars has a story that he had to watch Forensic Files for, which I'm excited about, because Forensic Files is super fun.
>> Farz: It is awesome. It is awesome. It is very well made, very well done. And I. What I'm going to be discussing here today actually was the inspiration for another very, very watchable thing. It was a inspiration for a very famous movie. Not completely an inspiration for, but like a part of that movie which we'll get into was from the real true story that I'm getting into here. The movie I'm thinking about won the Academy Award for best screenplay, and one of the stars won best actress at the 1997 Academy Awards. Do you have any guesses here?
>> Taylor: 1997. Give me something else. Anything else.
>> Farz: American Film Institute ranked it as the 93rd best movie ever made. William H. Macy.
>> Taylor: Oh, okay. Is it the one about. Nope. I don't know.
>> Farz: Fargo. I'm going. Fargo. What were you going to go with?
>> Taylor: I like, all I could think in my head was Titanic. And I know that you're not doing Titanic, but I was like, that's the only thing I could think of. I would have said the lady. What's her name? Frances.
>> Farz: Yes. Frances McDormand. She's the one that won the best actress award.
>> Taylor: There we go. There you go. I also have enjoyed the Fargo TV show. Have you watched it?
>> Farz: I haven't watched any of it.
>> Taylor: Some of them are better than others. Like one season I didn't really like, but the first season has a scene in it that I think is one of the most insane scenes I've ever seen on television. I screamed and just. It was like nothing I've ever seen in my life.
>> Farz: What was it?
>> Taylor: If you know, you know I'm not going to tell you.
>> Farz: All right, which. Can you tell me what episode at.
>> Taylor: Least it's at the end of.
>> Farz: Which. Which one? Which episode?
>> Taylor: Oh, no, at the end of the season.
>> Farz: Oh, then season. Okay, season one. Okay.
Hela Crafts suspected her husband was sleeping with another woman
All right, well, I'm going to be talking about a woman named Hela Crafts, which was the inspiration for probably the grossest scene in that movie. Do you know which one? Okay, all good. We're gonna get into it. And the second I say the words, you're gonna be like, oh, s***, I get it. I know what you're talking about. Her name actually is Hela. Like I. In the Forensic Files. They did call her that. It's H E L L E. She's Danish. And so.
>> Taylor: Yeah, not, like from California.
>> Farz: Yeah, yeah, it's. Yeah, it wasn't like a hippie. Her middle name is in Venus. Like, it's a. It's a real name. So hello. Was born in 1947, and she lived until. Spoiler alert, which makes her 39 years old at the time of her death. Just to give you all some sense of timelines here, like I said, she was actually born Helen Nielsen in Denmark, and she had a career as a flight attendant, which is also how she met her wayward, terrible husband, a guy named Richard Crafts, who was a pilot with Eastern Airlines. They would marry in 1975 and settle in a town that would later become known for even worse violence than what we're about to discuss. Newtown, Connecticut, and have three kids together. So there were several years of seemingly blissful marriage before Hella started suspecting that Richard was sneaking around with another woman.
>> Taylor: Another flight attendant.
>> Farz: Yes, actually, I literally wrote down that flight attendants were his niche. But that's, like, three paragraphs from now, so I'm going to say this sentence again later.
>> Taylor: I don't want to be a d***, but they're, like, readily available.
>> Farz: Yeah, yeah, is what it is. So she would try to address this with Richard that she thought that he was sleeping around, but apparently he had A super violent temper. And so they didn't get very far. I can't imagine what it's like. It's like I have an issue I want to discuss my spouse and it's like they're just gonna blow up. You like, I assume you just like go inside yourself.
>> Taylor: Yeah.
>> Farz: My. So the next part here is like I. I went into a little bit of like Connecticut law for a minute. But my general assumption based on the other part I'm going to get into here is that she was basically trying to put together evidence for infidelity in anticipation of a divorce. I looked at the divorce law in Connecticut in the 1980s and it was a no fault state even in the 1980s. But. But if you prove fault, like with infidelity, then the distribution of assets and the alimony component was dramatically skewed towards the cheated upon spouse. So that's why I think that she was probably just in a evidence gathering mode. So she hired this guy, a private investigator named Keith Mayo, to follow her husband around and document what he was doing. And he caught photos of him being affectionate with another woman who was also a flight attendant. And here's where my bit comes in. I guess flight attendants were his niche. I told you to come back. I wrote it, I'm gonna say it. Oh, there we go. Because apparently they're plentiful, so there's that available. Sorry, that's what you said, plentiful and available. And we don't know for sure anything that happens beyond this, beyond what happens on the night of Novemb 18th of 1986 at 7pm because that's the night she got home from working a flight from Germany back to the United States. She was driven home by a friend and a few days later she missed her next flight assignment without calling in and just basically no showed. So people kind of freaked out a little bit about this.
>> Taylor: Tough. It's a tough job, I imagine, just like the time you have to be away, you know?
>> Farz: Yeah.
>> Taylor: And if they're both doing it, then like, yeah, I doubt they saw each other very much, you know.
>> Farz: For the next month or so, Richard would come up with excuses, depending on who he was talking to about Hella's whereabouts. So if he was talking to her family, he'd tell them she was off to the Canary Islands with friends. If she was talking to her friends, he'd tell them that she was off to Denmark visiting family. So he was.
>> Taylor: And they do have kids. You said they have kids.
>> Farz: They had three kids. Okay, so it sounds like Hello's private investigator was kind of the only person with any investigatory background who actually gave a s*** about what happened to her. I mean, her friends and family cared, but nobody else really did. He basically launched his own investigation by interviewing the crafts live in nanny. So they had to live in nanny for their three kids. And the nanny told her, told this guy Mayo that he. She noticed blood stains on the master bedroom carpet shortly after Hela had disappeared. By December1, this investigator, this Keith Mayo guy, he reported her missing. The Newtown police and the police actually did go so far as to hook up the husband to a lie detector. And none of his responsive came up as deceptive. So they were like, well, you're good, but again, if you're psychopath.
>> Taylor: Right. I don't think that the lie detector does technically count anymore. Right.
>> Farz: You can't use it as like actual evidence in a trial, but it can.
>> Taylor: It can rile someone up in an investigation.
>> Farz: It can. It can give you enough juice to know that you should run harder or less hard at someone. But it's like, when is it. When is it not the husband? Like literally when, like what?
>> Taylor: Yeah, yeah.
>> Farz: Her friend dropped her off the house and then nobody heard from us. And the only other person is either that or her like 7 year old killed her like, right.
>> Taylor: Do you remember that? Shannon Watts's friend Nicole, who was the f****** best, who was like, absolutely not the immovable objects. Yeah. She was like, no. And she like figured it out.
>> Farz: Yeah.
>> Taylor: Freaking hero.
Keith Mayo went to the state police after taking a lie detector test
>> Farz: So the local police, after this lie detector test weren't really doing anything. So Keith went to the state police and they actually did take him semi seriously. The state police also had a secret weapon available to them. This one forensic investigator named Dr. Henry Lee. And this guy Henry Lee would become like kind of a celebrity investigator. He would go on to work on cases like the JonBenet Ramsey disappearance, O.J. simpson.
>> Taylor: It's like, I must have heard of him.
>> Farz: Yeah, he's one of those guys like, if you watch Forensic Files, I think he comes up like. I think he's like a regular on that.
>> Taylor: I think he is too.
>> Farz: He did the. He did a bunch of the 911 forensics. He did the D.C. sniper case. He did the forensics on Kaylee Anthony's body when they found it.
>> Taylor: Holy.
>> Farz: Yeah, he's. He's like a legit dude. So five. Five days after she was last hurt. Oh, sorry. Five weeks after she was last heard from. At this point, Keith Mayo had already gone to the state police. Richard ended up taking his three kids with him to Florida for a vacation. And during that time, the state police just went and searched his property. In the house, they found some tiny, tiny discolorations on the couple's mattress. I saw the pictures through forensic files, and they basically, like, were undetectable. Like, you would never notice them under any circumstance. But there's.
>> Taylor: I have children. There's stains everywhere.
>> Farz: Yeah.
>> Taylor: You know, like, there's. Yeah.
>> Farz: But in this case, they did notice it, and Dr. Lee asked for that part to be removed and sent to his lab. They also noticed that a large part of the master bedroom's carpet had been removed.
>> Taylor: That's suspicious.
>> Farz: Very suspicious. If you ever go into a house with carpet removed, you know, someone dies.
>> Taylor: Especially if this is like a square in the middle of a room.
>> Farz: It was more like a. So a square in the middle of the room would be less suspect than this, because this looked more like you were carving a liquid trail out. Like, I saw pictures.
>> Taylor: Isn't the shape of a body like.
>> Farz: That you cut out, like, the splatter from the brain matter going out the side.
>> Taylor: I spilled a bunch of wine in a human shaped form, and I had to clean it up. I don't know what happened.
>> Farz: So the forensics on the mattress showed that it was human type O positive blood, which was the same as hella. And one interesting thing that I never knew about was that Dr. Lee determined that that blood that was on the mattress was circulation blood versus menstrual blood, I guess. Do you know that was a. They could tell.
>> Taylor: Like, menstrual blood is probably different because it's like. It's not like blood. Like, I don't know if you want to know this, but, like, if I, like, cut myself, that blood is different than my period blood. My period blood is, like, very thick. It's like the lining of my uterus.
>> Farz: Coming out, I guess. Okay, yeah, that makes sense. It's almost just different matter. So. Okay, fine. This is me being ignorant. Nevermind.
>> Taylor: I mean, it's gross.
>> Farz: Well, what it told them was that, like, a blood vessel only leaks blood if it's damaged. So, like, it told them more than you would get from just menstrual blood.
>> Taylor: Right.
>> Farz: So they also ran checks on his credit card and found that he had recently purchased a freezer, a chainsaw, and that he had also rented little. Little drumroll. A wood chipper.
>> Taylor: Oh, no.
>> Farz: That is the connection to Fargo. This is the inspiration for when that one crazy German guy fed Steve Buscemi's corpse through a wood chipper.
>> Taylor: Have you seen Tucker and Dale vs Evil. No, there's a witch. I've partnered there, too.
>> Farz: Oh, there you go. This inspired a lot of. A lot of art.
>> Taylor: I just feel like it's going to be so goopy. Tell me about it. Tell me more.
>> Farz: It is. It's actually less goofy than you think. I'll tell you why that is. Yeah.
>> Taylor: Okay. Yeah.
Police in Newtown, Connecticut, search lake for missing chainsaw
>> Farz: So as police start interviewing people, they came across a guy named Joseph Hein. The night that Hella had returned home from a Germany flight. A source, a snowstorm had hit Newtown really hard, and Joseph Hine was employed by the city of South Ferry, which is only about 8 miles north of Newtown.
>> Taylor: Are they flying out of New York airports?
>> Farz: I don't know. I don't go that deep, I assume. Right. Like, why would you fly? I mean, can you flat. Can you do an international flight out of Connecticut? Seems like it's probably not. Continued. So that night, this guy Joseph was using a snowplow to clear the roads when he drove by a lake named Lake Zorra and noticed a U Haul truck with a wood chipper in the back right on the shore of Lake Zora. He led investigators to the part of the shoreline he saw the truck at. And the investigators there found the crown of the tooth, 3 ounces of miscellaneous human tissue, thousands of strands of blonde hair, a bunch of dried blood, a painted fingernail. Like, a little. Like the nail. Like the actual nail, but with, like, finger or paint on it.
>> Taylor: Yeah.
>> Farz: And even more telling than this and a little weird was that they also found mail addressed to hela. Yeah, like.
>> Taylor: Like, not shredded.
>> Farz: Not shredded. It apparently, like, whatever happened, this was fine. This mail was, like, fine. Because nothing I read or watch indicated that they piece this thing together. It was like it was just sitting there. A piece of mail that had her name on it. Oh, yeah. Again, this is eight miles from their house. A little weird to, like, have this here. So they also searched the water near the site, and they found the chainsaw in the water, which had strands of blonde hair lodged between its teeth. It's gnarly, isn't it?
>> Taylor: Yeah. Well, that sounds gooby.
>> Farz: It's actually not. I'm going to tell you why it's not.
>> Taylor: Okay.
>> Farz: I'm going to keep saying that. It's not goop.
>> Taylor: Okay. Okay. I really want to know because I'm just, like, picturing goop.
>> Farz: I know, I know. It's a little. It seems goofy, but it's.
>> Taylor: Tell me more.
>> Farz: So the problem they had with the chainsaw was that the serial numbers have been like, rubbed off, like, scraped off, like, shaved down. There's apparently this crazy method that again, Forensic File told me about where they can reproduce what's been removed using some sort of chemical application that'll like, tell you what should have been there that's not there anymore. I'm not science of this.
>> Taylor: That's what that liar who told Phil Collins that he had, like, authentic stuff from the Alamo did.
>> Farz: Oh, really?
>> Taylor: Where he was like, oh, I use a special thing to see that, like, Jim Booby was carved into this knife. You know, like it was really his, but, like, it definitely wasn't.
>> Farz: Yeah, yeah. I didn't go super deep trying to figure this out because I assumed if I did, it would take me 17 years to actually sort it out. But, like, it sounds pretty intense, while very useful intense. So they were able to reveal to this chemical process the serial number of this chainsaw. And when they finally were able to achieve the number, they matched it to the freaking warranty card that Richard Kraft sent in after he bought the chainsaw. Whoa. This stupid. Kind of stupid. Yeah.
>> Taylor: I never mailed one of those in. I mean, now I get. I do insurance on Amazon because it's easy. But, like, I would never. I've never mailed in a warranty card.
>> Farz: I've never mailed in a rebate. I've never done a warranty court. I don't even know. What a nerd. What an absolute nerd. So given how long ago this was, it sounds like the majority of matching or testing of things like human tissue and blood and nails and all that, that was done kind of surface level, by matching what they found they knew was hellas to pulling, you know, to. To what they actually discovered. They would, like, go and pull strands of hair from her hairbrush. They would compare the fingernail that was on the fingernail polish she used. Apparently, it wasn't until the 1990s, the very early 1990s, that DNA evidence was, like, scientifically conclusive enough to be used.
>> Taylor: Yeah, yeah. I think the O.J. trial was the first time it was used. We didn't know about it. Like Jurassic park, they explained DNA to us because we didn't really get it yet.
>> Farz: Yeah, yeah. And that was 94. So it wasn't actually that. It wasn't the first one. That was the biggest one. Apparently, in the very early stages of using DNA, they use them for sexual assault cases. There was like two I read of that happened, like, maybe a year before this happened. So it was.
>> Taylor: It's new.
>> Farz: It was new enough to where they wouldn't have relied on it in this case, essentially got it. So by now, police start piecing together the events of the night that she came home. They knew she got home around 7.
Police think she put her mail in her pocket after putting kids to bed
They knew, based on a routine, she would have put the kids to bed by 8. The live in nanny had the night off, and they didn't actually expect her back until midnight. They think after she put the kids to bed, she and Richard were in the master bedroom where she changed into her nightgown and for some reason put her mail in her pocket. Like in the nightgown pocket? Yeah, but I mean, again, it's a 1980s consequential.
>> Taylor: It doesn't matter. But, like, it's okay.
>> Farz: I don't know, it's the 1980s. Like, maybe, like, you know, you've been on the road for. To Germany and back. Like, maybe. I don't know. You're gonna go bathroom.
>> Taylor: Yeah. Like, I remember my mom, like, paying bills in the kitchen table, you know?
>> Farz: Yeah. We used to have a more intimate relationship with our male. I know you do. And you're exceptional at sending it. I will say thank you. I literally have to ask you how to send mail because I don't know how to do it. So the assumption police have is that while her and Richard are in the bedroom, a fight breaks out about his cheating, and Richard loses it and grabs a large flashlight they had and bashes her in the back of the head once, which knocks her down. Then he hits her a second time, which is the one that probably killed her, put her into a comatose state. And that's the one that left the blood splatter that's on the mattress. He then wrapped her body in sheets, carried her from the bedroom to the garage, and placed her inside a large freezer.
>> Taylor: But he. But he already bought the freezer.
>> Farz: Already bought the freezer.
>> Taylor: Okay, so premeditating, premeditated.
>> Farz: Yes, yes. So by the. I mean, how could you not. Like, if I accidentally killed someone, do you. What part of the recesses of my brain would be like, cool, let's go get a wood chipper. You know, like, you had to have thought about it.
>> Taylor: Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. He wasn't, like, gonna make a bunch of stew and have to freeze it.
>> Farz: Also, the other crazy part is that he went and rented this wood chipper.
>> Taylor: Right. For a long time.
>> Farz: Yeah, yeah. He just rented it for the moment. What I'm thinking is, like, how did you clean it afterwards?
>> Taylor: That's what. Tell me. Tell you, Tell me. Because that's what I think would be goopy. The goopy thing. The next guy, like, he's like, the next guy who has this from the Home Depot, has it in his backyard, and he puts, like, a branch in it, and it comes out with another.
>> Farz: Eyeball, comes out flying out the other side of it. I didn't pay for this little extra money back, but here's why it's not goopy. So the next night, the night after hello. Got home, he. The body was frozen solid.
>> Taylor: Oh.
>> Farz: And so that's when he took it from the freezer. He used a chainsaw to quarter the body. Then he drove it along with the chainsaw, the wood chipper, and some wood as, like, cover for the gore to the shoreline of this lake. And so he was feeding it in, and he actually.
>> Taylor: Tell me the name of the lake again. I'm gonna look it up.
>> Farz: It's Zor. Z O, A R. Okay. But that's why it wasn't gory is because it was, like, rock solid. And he actually got most of it into the lake. Like, it was only, like, tiny bits of her remains that was actually discovered, like, on the shoreline.
>> Taylor: Right.
>> Farz: And then he had covered a lot of that up with the wood that he brought. So he, like, ran her body through it. Most of it ended up in the lake. The part that didn't end up in lake, he shaved a bunch of wood into it to, like, mask it to some extent.
Richard Woodcher became first person in Connecticut history to murder without victim's body
>> Taylor: Got it, guys. You can drive to Lake Zor, 15 minutes from the center of New Newtown County.
>> Farz: Yep. Yep.
>> Taylor: Which is very close to Long Island. So I see why they would live there.
>> Farz: Yeah. And then Richard would obviously go on trial in 1988. His original trial was a mistrial. It was declared a mistrial. Like, he didn't get convicted. And he would go on trial again the year after. And then he became the first person in Connecticut history to ever be found guilty of a murder without the victim's body ever being recovered. Because. Yeah. Like, so much of what the forensic files was talking about was like, do we even know if she's dead? Like, well, sorry. Obviously she's dead.
>> Taylor: Yes.
>> Farz: But how do we prove she's dead? Because we don't have a body. We have nothing. Like, we have strands of hair.
>> Taylor: Right. Which is what he was coming on.
>> Farz: Right, right.
>> Taylor: Did he fly planes after he killed her?
>> Farz: Probably. Yeah, I'm sure. Yeah, Almost certainly. Interestingly enough, he got 50 years in prison, which is kind of remarkable. You'd assume he'd get life. It's so gory. I'm Shocked that he got 50 years. And even more remarkable than that, 30 years later, in 2020, he was released for good behavior.
>> Taylor: What?
>> Farz: Yeah.
>> Taylor: So he's out there.
>> Farz: He's out there. He fed his wife's corpse to Chipper after chainsawing her body and quartering her.
>> Taylor: He's literally at the Vines buying produce.
>> Farz: He's just hanging out.
>> Taylor: So kids do.
>> Farz: They're probably not talking to him.
>> Taylor: Yeah, sure.
>> Farz: Yeah. I can't imagine they have a good relationship. So. So. But. But that was it. Like, that was part of the inspiration for Fargo was this whole wood chipper situation, which I remember as a kid watching. I mean, an older kid, but, like, watching that and being like, where do these psychopaths come up with these concepts in Hollywood? And it's like.
>> Taylor: Right.
>> Farz: Like, it was a real person. He really did this. He's literally out there walking right now. He's probably like a Taco Bell near you, like, right now.
>> Taylor: A thousand percent. Oh, God, that's terrible.
>> Farz: Yeah. 39 years old, fed to a wood chipper. The forensic foul went into great detail, way more than I'm providing here about, like, the gore that they recovered, because they actually also, as a part of a test, ran the corpse of a pig through.
>> Taylor: Oh, God. I mean, I bet. Oh, man.
>> Farz: And they compared, like, the de minimis amounts of bone fragment that was recovered on the shoreline with what they were. What they pulled from the pig test. And they're like, this. Woodcher makes the same kind of pattern. And so that's where, like, he fed the whole thing through the wood chipper. Oh, and.
>> Taylor: And question. Was she naked?
>> Farz: No, she was not naked, which is why they found the male. Because what they think happened is that she had this. Because they found these blue fibers that were. Again, they couldn't, like, test this on a molecular level, but they knew that she wore this, like, blue nightgown before she went to bed. And the nightgown had pockets. And they're like, she must have, like, got her mail, put it in this nightgown, because they also found strands of blue fibers everywhere. And, like, that's what happened. Like, that's why the male ended up. That was. Is she just, like, stuffed it in her pocket?
>> Taylor: It's so. That's weird. I feel like I would. I would put a naked person in there rather than a person with clothes on were I to do that.
>> Farz: I see.
You know, I've never thought about decapitating a body before
That's the thing. I haven't thought about it ever. So, like, I.
>> Taylor: Well, I just thought about it right now.
>> Farz: I haven't, like, I Haven't had. Had a ton to think about. But, yeah, you'd assume it's always the hair. It's always a hair. It reminds me of that movie Pain and Gain. I don't know if you ever saw that one. I think it's. It's awesome. It's with the Rock and with Mark Wahlberg. It's really. It's a real. It's a true. Yeah, it's a true. It's a true crime story for Miami. But, like, I remember in the movie, like, that was what screwed them up the most, was that they tried to decapitate the person like a woman. And the hair's in the way, and hair's super strong, and so they couldn't chainsaw it would just keep breaking the chainsaw. Like, the engine couldn't overpower the hair. And I know. I know it's not good. I'm just saying, like, it's. It's these things you don't think about when you think about chainsawing a body.
>> Taylor: Like in Chipper, like, in One Day, like an Anne of a Thousand Days, the Anne Boleyn movie that I watched, like, forever ago. She obviously has her hair up when they do it, and she goes. She's, like, getting on the scaffold, and she's like, it'll be easier. I have a little neck, and everyone's crying.
>> Farz: You're like, oh, God, so creepy. So eerie.
>> Taylor: Think it would be.
>> Farz: I also, like. I also like the word wood. Chipper is such a cute word. It's like woodchuck mixed with chipper. And it's so fun and happy, the fact that you, like, fed your wife in it. It's me. It just ruins the whole experience for me, kind of.
>> Taylor: Yeah, yeah, yeah. Wait, was she 100 dead when she was put in it? Oh, yeah, because she was frozen.
>> Farz: Okay, so she was probably alive when she went in the freezer, actually.
>> Taylor: Right.
>> Farz: Because the only thing she hit, he. She. He hit her twice. And I think it takes a lot of force to kill someone by bludgeoning them over the head.
>> Taylor: I think so, too. God, you know what I wish? And not to. Not for a body, but, like, I wish there was a way to test things that are in movies, like, see if you could do it. Like, if I hit someone with a bottle, like, what would happen, you know? Like, obviously, I think my hand would hurt. I don't think I would hurt anybody. I do not think the bottle would jetter, you know? But, like.
>> Farz: No, you wouldn't shatter. You definitely. You definitely can Cuss someone and give them brain damage. Yeah, and I think Mythbusters did a lot of that.
>> Taylor: Oh, yeah. Yeah. Wait, is this true? Am I trimming this? My parents knew a girl and. No, someone I know knew a girl who died because someone threw a beer bottle across a bar and it broke and it sliced her throat.
>> Farz: That sounds almost.
>> Taylor: Does that sound me to leave? I don't know. Let me text my parents. I'll report back by this.
>> Farz: Yeah, let's. We can add an attendance this episode once we find out.
>> Taylor: Yes, once I find out. Cool. That is gross.
>> Farz: Is.
>> Taylor: That is horrible.
>> Farz: Yeah, it's pretty gnarly. I don't know how I came up on this, but.
>> Taylor: And then again, just to reiterate, you can get divorced. Like, I don't know.
>> Farz: I think this guy's issue was like. I think this guy's issue was he knew. She probably said something about how I have pictures of you making out with someone or she probably dug it. Dug it in. He was like, I'm gonna lose everything, and was like, this is better. Which it obviously isn't. You traumatize your children. So there's that.
>> Taylor: Yeah. I mean, that's like a thousand times worse than having your parents be divorced is having one of them dead and one of them in jail.
>> Farz: Yeah. Especially the way he did it.
That movie is delightful. I love it. Yeah. Just Fargo. Who Just. Is great in a weird way
>> Taylor: Yeah.
>> Farz: So, yeah, that's my fun little story. My fun little tie in to Wells Fargo. Who Just. Just Fargo. Not well, Fargo.
>> Taylor: That movie is delightful. Is great in a weird way.
>> Farz: I love it. Sweet.
Nadine says Russia will send missiles over Canada when they finally destroy US
Do we have any listener mail?
>> Taylor: Cool. I did want to follow up on Nadine being in Canada and talking about how Canada, the northern part of Canada, needs to be defended. And she wanted to clarify that basically, that means, like, Russia will send missiles over Canada when they finally destroy the United States. And I said, that makes sense. And how we can't send things to Russia without going over or to North Korea without going over Russia. Like, the world is round.
>> Farz: We don't know that.
>> Taylor: I'm like, 99.
>> Farz: I'm at 87.
>> Taylor: I've been to Japan on an airplane. It didn't take six days. So I feel like we'll split the.
>> Farz: Difference and call it. We're 83% sure it's round. Okay, deal.
>> Taylor: I'm fine with that.
>> Farz: Cool.
>> Taylor: Whatever.
>> Farz: Sweet.
Taylor: Thank you to everyone who gets our emails
Well, do you want to do our socials?
>> Taylor: Yes, Please find us on social media. Doomed to fell pod on all the socials. Doom to fallpod gmail.com if you have any ideas or suggestions. And then also, just a reminder, we're going to do a bunch of re releases coming up soon. I have some natural disasters and some murders to bring back. Thank you to everyone who gets our emails and oh my God, for us, we got new email subscribers on substack. So thank you those folks. Oh, and you know what I really wanted to do for me? We have a map of where our our downloads are on our Simplecast that it's fun to look at our map and we have people who are all over the world who listen. So somebody in Essen, Germany is listening, which is super fun. And then someone in where else? Like all over. Like in Florida, in Miami Gardens in Denver. We have downloads in Portland, in. In Torreo, Mexico, in Sao Paulo, Brazil, Two downloads this week. Nashville, Tennessee, Memphis, Tennessee area. I love it. So just thanks everyone. Prague International. There's some four downloads in Sydney, two in Perth, one in Auckland. So thanks everyone all over the world.
>> Farz: All over the world. And thank you to those 3,000 new email subscribers.
>> Taylor: I said 3,000. I did, I did say three.
>> Farz: Yeah.
>> Taylor: Thank you for.
>> Farz: Yeah, of course, of course. Thank you. Taylor, again at dunefellpod, all socials, write to us Duneflp or write to us@duneflpgmail.com and tell your friends we like doing this and want to keep doing this and would love to get more of your feedback. Yeah, that's all we got, Taylor. Thanks. Sweet. Cut it off there.